More Books Unrecommended by Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon, host of The Tonight Show on NBC-TV, has once again offered a list of books people should not read.

The odd and quirky "Do Not Read List" has become a regular feature on The Tonight Show.  The list for January 22 was shorter than usual, with only four books mentioned -- one nature book, one children's book, one animal book, and one how-to book.

The "nature book" was The Secret Life of Clams: The Mysteries and Magic of Our Favorite Shellfish, written by Anthony D. Fredericks and released in 2014. Fallon noted that the book reveals that "Elvis recorded a song called 'Do the Clam' in 1965" and that the author promises that, if "[you] invite me to your next cocktail party, I can assure you I will not discuss bovine insemination." Reacting to that, Fallon shook his head and said, "I can’t believe I shelled out money for that."

Fredericks, it turns out, is the prolific author of 153 books, including Ace Your Teacher Interview: 149 Fantastic Answers to Tough Interview Questions, Under One Rock: Bugs, Slugs, and Other Ughs, Horseshoe Crab: Biography of a Survivor, and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Teaching College.

The "children's book," described as for "kids just beginning to read," was The Love Affair of Mr. Ding and Mrs. Dong, written in 1991 by Lionel Koechlin and illustrated by Annette Tamarkin Hatwell. In one excerpt read aloud by Jimmy Fallon, "Mr. Ding and Mrs Dong listen to their two hearts beating together, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong."

Koechlin and Hatwell also collaborated on Apartment for Rent: A Lulu and Banana Story and Lulu and the Artist: A Lulu and Banana Story. In addition, Koechlin wrote the French-language Trois baleines bleues.

Fallon's book for "animal lovers" was Dogs and Their Women, written by Louise Taylor and‎ Barbara E. Cohen and published in 1989. Fallon showed a couple of odd photos from the book, one featuring a huge dog (which he compared to Clifford, the big red dog) and another with a dog that looked like he had a "drinking problem."

Cohen and Taylor also collaborated on Woman's Best Friend: A Celebration of Dogs and Their Women (1996), Horses and Their Women (1993), and Cats and Their Women (1992). (A theme seems to emerge from this bibliography.)

Finally, a "how-to" book called Dancing for Busy People, by Calvin Campbell, appears to be out of print, despite a publication date of 2003. Fallon was amused by the directions for a dance called "Ding-Dong Daddy," which go something like this:

"Wait eight counts, clap knees twice, clap hands twice… touch palm to right album … making swimming motion … make motion of twirling a lasso … hitchhike motion with left arm … swat the fly and blow it away."

Sadly, Campbell has no other books to his name.